IT'S SNOWING!

My street covered in snow, something I never thought I would see.

It feels like Christmas now

I finished putting up the Christmas tree tonight. I love my Christmas tree. Setting up the tree is always a long task and it seemed to take an extra long time this year, but I love it once it’s set up. I set up the tree alone this year, which is my preference. I love digging into the ornament box and upwrapping an ornament only to wonder which one it will be. I sometimes forget about some of them and seeing them brings back a flood of memories. I really enjoyed reflecting on the people, place and events in my life that are represented in the many ornaments on my tree. This year I added ornaments from the Northern California and Las Vegas in honor of some of my travels this year. Some of my favorite ornaments include:

• A handmade ornament of a nurse that is personalized with my name and the year 1989 in celebration of my first nursing job.
• An ornament that was a gift to my Grandma Harriet by one of the staff members at the nursing facility where she spent her final Christmas.
• A glass ball with Santa and his reindeer flying over the New York skyline that I bought during a trip to New York City for Thanksgiving 1998.
• Numerous angel ornaments that I have collected over the years that were too Christmasy or sweet to end up in the bathroom.
• Handmade snowflake ornaments from a Christmas bazaar at my former church.
• Many star ornaments that I began collecting long before I was a PEO and the star had a whole new meaning to me.
• The Hallmark Keepsake collection Lighthouse ornaments that I have collected for years.
• The hand-painted glass ornament collection that my parents started for each of us a few years ago. They add a new ornament every year.

After I finished setting up the tree I turned all the lights out (except the tree, of course) and sat on the couch with a cup of peppermint tea and Christmas music on in the background and just took it all in. I love Christmas!

Lake Ward Frozen

Snow falls again.

Recording Artist?

My brother found this CD while browsing during his lunch hour and sent it to me with the caption, "No Way!"

Lights on the tree

It only took two evenings and 21 strands of lights and I am finished with the first step in putting up the tree. Here come the ornaments. :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

On this Thanksgiving I am thankful for so many things, among them.

• My health
• A *crazy* person free life
• Seattle
• My family
• Friends that are like family

I am celebrating the holiday today at home with great friends, great food, the parade, football and, of course, some great adult beverages! Wherever you are this Thanksgiving I hope that you have a chance to reflect on what you are thankful and enjoy some turkey with those you love.

I am thankful

You Are 90% Thankful

You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated. You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.

How Thankful Are You?

Sibiling Conversation

An email exchange between my brother Dave and I on Wednesday, November 22.

Julie Anne: Have you seen this movie?

Dave: Can't say that I have...you?

Julie Anne: Nope I didn't even know about it. I have added it to my NetFlix list. I will check it out and let you know. It's time to set up the Christmas tree on Friday, I can't wait to be Clark again. :-)

Dave: You've been listening to Christmas music for a couple of weeks, which means you've been Clark for a while..... :-)

Julie Anne: But I held out until November 10th, that's pretty good for me.

Dave: I've been singing and humming them lately. Very excited for Christmas this year.

Julie Anne: Have you listened to any on CD yet? You should crack out some CD's for the drive to Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Dave: Already on my iPod and ready to go.

Julie Anne: Guess what was just delivered to my desk... Roy Roger's and Dale Evans Christmas CD.... can you say "hoarses, hoarses, hoarses" ;-)

Dave: I can see how the Utah public school education is paying off……can the horses not talk?

Yummy!

Pumpkin and Apple Pies for Thanksgiving.

What Part of Thanksgiving Am I?

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Oridnary, comforting, and more than a little predictable You're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

Peanuts and Monday Randomness

I met with a client at Overlake Hospital Medical Center in Bellevue this afternoon. I parked in the north parking garage and used the underground access tunnel to get into the main hospital. The tunnel is filled with shops and feels a whole lot like you are walking through a mall. Overlake is a beautiful hospital and exactly what I expected.

The drive home was an adventure. It took over 90 minutes and I crawled most of the way (see previous posts). My ankle was sore when I got home from 90 minutes of braking action.

I watched the Charlie Brown specials on ABC tonight. I love Charlie Brown. I have always loved Charlie Brown. Tonight's lineup included the classic A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and a new classic He's a Bully, Charlie Brown. I heard an interesting tidbit on KOMO 1000 while checking traffic on the way home. The voice of Charlie Brown in the new special is the voice of a local kid. It's amazing how much he sounds like Charlie Brown.

I liked the new special, although I felt like some of the characters were not portrayed in their true light. The beauty of Charlie Brown is that he screws up yet everyone learns a valuable lesson. In the new special he doesn't screw up and Lucy has a great deal of difficulty believing it.

Every year I try to catch the Halloween and Christmas Peanut's specials. It's been years since I have seen the Thanksgiving special and a whole hours of Peanuts got my brain going, here are some random thoughts and observations.

As a kid I always thought that I was *just like Lucy* and as an adult I am totally disagree. She is the oldest girl with two younger brothers but she is a bit more bossy than me (although my brothers would most likely disagree.) The official Peanuts website describes her as follows and after reading it I can only hope that I am nothing like Lucy.

Lucy Van Pelt works hard at being bossy, crabby and selfish. She is loud and yells a lot. Her smiles and motives are rarely pure. She's a know-it-all who dispenses advice whether you want it or not--and for Charlie Brown, there's a charge. She's a fussbudget, in the true sense of the word. She's a real grouch, with only one or two soft spots, and both of them may be Schroeder, who prefers Beethoven. As she sees it, hers is the only way. The absence of logic in her arguments holds a kind of shining lunacy. When it comes to compliments, Lucy only likes receiving them. If she's paying one--or even smiling--she's probably up to something devious.

Why does Marcie refer to Peppermint Patty as "Sir?"

In the Thanksgiving special when Marcie is making peace between Charlie and Patty he uses their proper names, Charles and Priscilla. Yet when Patty is referred to by her proper name in the new special they call her Patricia. What is the deal there?

Lucy didn't go to camp in the special because she much more important things to do that go to camp. Lucy loves to be the center of EVERYTHING, it just wasn't camp without her.

Would Peanuts be the same without the music?

Hope you are having a good evening!

Only took an hour

I have achieved the speed limit!

Woo hoo!

Finally going over 10 mph.

Slow drive

For over 40 minutes I have been averaging less than 5 mph. ugh!

Am I a good driver?

You Passed Your Driver's Test

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct. You're a good driver - at least, when you want to be.

Are You a Good Driver?

Quote of the day

"Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers."

--Edward Shepherd Mead

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Last Sunday night I walked into Starbucks with Mom and Ricker following a yummy dinner at my favorite neighborhood Italian bistro and was elated to see that the red cups were back. I got so wrapped up in the holiday spirit that I just had to have a Egg Nog Latte. It was my first of the season and I got to share it with my mom who loves them almost as much as I do.

I love the red holiday cups at Starbucks. I got totally into the red cup website last year and decided to go and check out the website they have put together for this holiday season. The theme is holiday traditions. I read through a few of the posted stories of various holiday traditions and they warmed my heart. You can check it out at www.itsredagain.com

I walked out on the deck a few minutes ago to take down the wind chimes that I keep hung from the ceiling. It's been really windy here and they are making far too much noise. It's a clear evening in Seattle and the skyline from my deck was beautiful. I immediately noticed the *tree* atop Tower @ 801 had been lit up. It's an annual tradition during the holiday season in Seattle to see this famous Seattle building with it's brightly lit tree on top (see picture). I am happy to report that they have purchased new lights this year and the tree is now a solid green stripe, followed by a red stripe and a white stripe. It looks great.

I was about to "freak out" that they had turned the lights on a bit to early and then realized that Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow. Christmas will be here before we know it and I have tons to do!

The Jello Belt?

I had heard of the Bible Belt, the Sun Belt, the Grain Belt and the Corn Belt. But I had no idea until I stumbled across an article on my bloglines feed today that there is a Jello Belt. Yep! My home state of Utah is smack dap in the middle of the Jello Belt (not surprisingly). The exact definition per Wikipedia follows. Enjoy!

The Jello Belt is a colloquial term in American English that refers to the parts of the western United States with large populations of "Mormons" (properly called Latter-day Saints). In academic literature, the area is more commonly called the "Mormon culture region" or the "Mormon corridor."

It generally refers to a roughly-defined area of land centered on Utah. The Jello Belt extends northward through western Wyoming and eastern Idaho to Yellowstone National Park. The Jello Belt reaches south through San Bernardino, California and Mesa, Arizona. In Arizona, the Belt extends throughout all of the eastern part of the state, almost to the U.S.-Mexico border. The eastern half of Nevada is the Jello Belt's western edge.

The name "Jello Belt" references the affection that Mormons supposedly have for Jell-O (a gelatin-based food), particularly when served with shredded carrots, or blended with canned fruit and set in molds. Green (Lime) Jell-O, for some reason, is the most stereotypically Mormon of Jell-O flavor-colors. Jell-O has been designated Utah's official state snack food.[1]

Quote of the day

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language."

--Buck Henry

Family Weekend Summary

My family was in town this weekend to attend the church service were *the cutest nephew in the world* was being dedicated. We all managed to get along relatively well and at the end of the weekend there were no casualties. In a world of turmoil and change it is nice to know that some things remain the same. I realized that fact this weekend with observation of the following.

• Family members remember details about you that you can sometimes hide outside those relations. And they have no problem sharing when prompted.
• "Travelers" remain a part of family event tradition. The ferry is a perfect place to enjoy a Bloody Mary made in the "Backseat Bar."
• I am positive now that little brothers will always act like little brothers. We are adults now and yet he is still acting like a kid by whispered in my bad ear, being poked or dead fish hugs.
• I was actually raised in a pack of wolves, at least according to the pastor at the church.
• My Mom really can sleep ANYWHERE!
• My Dad will always ask the same question many times.
• I remain my nephew's favorite aunt! (No need to point out that I am his only Aunt.)

The main theme of this weekend was laughter. My family has always laughed together and we continue to do so. We laughed at little John's perfect laugh, Jimmy's fashion choices, David for being phat, my lack spelling ability (how about some thooth paste), Ricker's URR, and a million other things.

I love laughing with my family. Thank you for making me laugh at myself and all of you this weekend.

A BYU Catch?

We always joked when I was a kid about "BYU Catches" being lucky. This is probably a little more than luck!

Tomorrow is going to be a Bloody Mary Day!

I am finally in possession of my step-dad's famous recipe for Bloody Mary mix. I picked my parents up at the airport this evening then we had dinner at one of my favorite places. As dinner was winding down my parents decided that they wanted Bloody Mary's on the ferry in the morning as we venture across "the pond." We did a quick inventory of the ingredients and figured that I only had part of them. A quick trip to the store solved that problem. I just finished mixing up the recipe so that the flavors can meld overnight.

I figure now that 9 o'clock in the morning Seattle time is 5 o'clock somewhere! Happy Sunday!

Bad Day

The stars have aligned today to make this a really bad day.

• I got 4 hours of sleep.
• My carpool buddy was late.
• I still don't have a fuctional cell phone. (Verizon Wireless sucks!)
• My palm pilot is on my desk at the office.
• I failed a pop quiz in my lab this morning (1 out of 5 correct).
• I got caught up in the traffic trying to leave campus as everyone was trying to get to the game.
• Some of streets in my neighborhood were closed down due to a gas leak and traffic was a nightmare.

I totally understand why kids have meltdowns when they overstimulated, annoyed and tired because I feel like having one right now! AAAAHHHH!

Off to bed I go.

How can you not laugh with this kid?

This cracks me up every time I see it! :-)

I caved

I mentioned in a previous post that I was going to try to abstain from listening to any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. Well, I caved this morning.

I have been working on my 2007 Christmas Mix which has wet my appetite for it but what pushed me over the edge was a conversation with a co-worker on Wednesday evening. We were the last 2 people left in the building and got started talking about our favorite Christmas music. I brought him a copy of Merry Melodies and Crazy Christmas Cheer (my previous holiday music collections) yesterday which continued the conversation. So when I got in the car this morning and it was rainy and cold and the traffic was bad I needed a little comfort. I tried to resist but before I reached the interstate the CD was in the stereo.

I am not ready to don any gay apparel or set up the Christmas tree so I figure that a little Christmas music (in moderation, of course) is just fine.

Late Night Surfing

It's 12:10 a.m. and I am awake. I am usually sound asleep at this hour, especially on a work night. I finished studying shortly after 11 p.m. and finished some things around the house and was wired, so I decided to surf the net and play around a bit online.

Why is it that when I don't have extra time to fool around online I can think of a million sites that I want to check out but when I have time to kill I can't?

After clearing the dust from the back of my brain these are the websites I have visited tonight.

• I checked my bloglines feed but there wasn't much new there.
• I saw an ad for cruisepoints.com earlier this week and decided to check it out but didn't want to register for yet another website.
• I finally figured out who the Aerie Girls are. Since the beginning of the new season of Gilmore Girls every episode has ended with a op-ed video from the Aerie Girls. I find them completely annoying but still wanted to figure out who they were. It turns out that they it's a gimmick from the folks at American Eagle. Didn't know much about the brand before, but they can now be assured that I think they are a joke.
• I finally figured out what happened to Crossing Jordan.
• NCAA Football Standings

It is now 12:24 a.m. and I am going to see if I can't get some sleep. Good night.

Thursday Randomness

Today's quote...

"There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity."

--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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During a conversation at dinner on Saturday night I mentioned to Don that I learned in my first trip to Seattle that Seattle consisted of 7 hills, yet I didn't know what they were. So I did a bit of research (aka google search) and found a wikipedia article on the 7 hills. They are:

• Queen Anne Hill
• Capitol Hill
• Magnolia
• First Hill
• Crown Hill
• Denny Hill (Razed)
• Beacon Hill

I was aware of all but Crown Hill and Denny Hill. It was interesting to read more about the Denny regrade project which I have heard about but didn't know specifics.

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I think that I have been thinking about hills this week because I am very grateful to live on one right now. The flooding in western Washington has been severe in some areas. Every newscast is filled with pictures of flooded homes, roads and communities.

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I saw an ad on TV last night for the new animated movie for the holiday season. I was having trouble putting it all together in my head. How does a movie about everything that is flushed down the toilet equate to the perfect movie for the holiday season. And, does anyone else find it disturbing that there is a movie about what is "Flushed Away?" Have we run out of subject matter for animated films?

==========

There have been some major changes at my favorite radio station this week. The afternoon DJ is now the morning DJ and the morning DJ is now the afternoon DJ. Many of the features that were part of the afternoon show are now part of the morning show and visa versa. It was really confusing and annoying at first, but I am beginning to adjust.

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It's Thursday which means that the week is almost over and it's my TV night! :-) Have a good one!

Carbon Leaf Video

This is a video interview shot by KMTT with Carbon Leaf this summer prior to the 1st Annual KMTT Music Festival which I attended. I just stumbled across this video today and thought I would share.

I ♥ Carbon Leaf!

Are you Liberal or Conservative?

You Are a Moderate Mama

You're not overly political, and your views fall more with the American mainstream. In fact, it may be difficult for you to decide who to vote for at times! Your approach to politics is reasoned and well though out.

Are You a Liberal Lady or a Conservative Chick?

10 reasons to enjoy the rain

I stumbled across this article on my bloglines feed this morning. Ken Schram is KOMO TV's often commentator. I thought this was really funny and felt like sharing with all of you. Enjoy!

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Ten reasons to enjoy the rain

By Ken Schram

SEATTLE - I'm sometimes asked how come I don't come up with an occasionally positive commentary.

Seems some people are under the mistaken impression that I'm always grumpy, cantankerous and sarcastic.

Well, just to prove them wrong, I've decided that today I want to look on the bright side of things.

With that, I humbly offer the top ten reasons for why we should actually be enjoying all the wind and rain we're getting

Number 10: The storm has washed away the word "MetroNatural" that was painted on top of the Space Needle.

Number 9: It's fun to splash pedestrians as you drive down the street.

Number 8: Can't get enough of that video of salmon crossing the road.

Number 7: Fewer panhandlers because cardboard signs just get soggy.

Number 6: No more door belling by political candidates 'cause they're weather wimps.

Number 5: Not as many bicyclists to share the road with.

Number 4: Ducks swimming in Seattle's pot holes look so darn cute.

Number 3: We need more mud right before the election.

Number 2: Traffic hardly sucks more than when the sun is in our eyes.

And the number 1 reasons to enjoy all this rain: All the crack-heads and hookers stay inside which means if you really want to, you can actually use that $700,000 toilet down in Pioneer Square!

There... how's that for positive!

Post Election Mania

Today is November 8th and the election is over, thank God! I sat down to watch my favorite TV shows on Sunday night and every single ad on television was one of the candidates blasting the views of the other. I hate campaign ads and I really hated them this year.

I use reliable sources (voters pamphlet, websites) for information to make my decision about which candidate I am voting for and specifics about ballot initiatives. I sat down over the weekend with all of my research and finalized my decisions. And then the TV ads really got on my nerves. All I heard was that Maria Cantwell is against the war, Mike McGavick wants to privatize social security and was a bad leader at Safeco, Dave Reichert votes with Bush 90% of the time and Darcy Burner will raise your taxes. AAAHHHH!

The most annoying of these races was the race between Reichert and Burner for the 8th Congressional District. I watched the local political shows about this race, endured the ads on television, radio and the discussions at work only to learn when I went to prepare on Sunday that I don't live within the 8th Congressional District. I live in the 7th Congressional District. At least I didn't have to decide between Burner and Reichert.

=========

I fell asleep watching the news last night. I saw the beginning of the results for Washington but was sound asleep before the majority came in and I didn't hear a thing about the races in Utah. I mentioned this to a co-worker who moved here recently from Utah and he hadn't heard either so we pulled up the Salt Lake Tribune to find out everything we wanted to know. The first thing we found out was that Sen. Orrin Hatch had retained his office. This began a conversation about our "run-ins" with the Senator. I shared my encounter with him and subsequent learning what the word "smarmy" meant. And then my co-worker shared with me that Orrin Hatch had a CD out. I didn't believe him so I googled it and sure enough he has a Christmas Eve CD. You would think that I would have surely known about Christmas Music, but I did not. A further google search revealed a website titled The Music History of Orrin Hatch. When we pulled this page up were we immediately saw a picture of the senator with Barry Manilow. Who knew that Orrin was such a pop music fan. It doesn't change my opinion of him. I still think he is s smarmy jerk.


==========

The same co-worker as listed above and I decided that our new favorite 4-letter swear word is WAWF. It's a government acronym which represents another horrible ugly government website that is impossible to navigate. UGH! Our tax dollars at work.

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It has finally stopped raining but not much of the region is flooded. I have one co-worker who could not get home last night because the once small town she lives in is now an island. I wonder if that will increase their property value? I teased her about it this morning and she remains in good spirits despite the circumstances. The danger is not over yet. Many of the rivers continue to creep above flood stage and hundreds remain in shelters.

The good news is that it appears like we will have a couple of dry days.

==========

I was saddened to hear that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were getting a divorce. Boy I really thought that was a marriage that would last.

==========

I think that enough griping for one morning. Have a happy day!

My fabulous little brother

My little brother Jimmy has spent the last 6 months teasing me about having a blog. He delights in pointing out that millions of people in this country have blogs and "No one reads them!" I know that he is just giving me a bad time because he likes to tease me because despite his claims that he doesn't have time to read blogs when I speak to him on the phone he mentions something that he would only know if he were reading my blog-- gotcha!

What are little brothers for if not to give their big sisters a bad time.

Well I am happy to announce that after months of pointing out my fruitless efforts to produce a blog, my little brother has decided to join the millions of bloggers with a blog of his own. He and his friend McSean have started a blog about the Utah Jazz. When Jimmy told me about it I immediately added it to my bloglines feed and have been reading it since. Up until today all of the posts have been made by McSean, so today I was delighted to see that Jimmy had posted something and it's a perfect "Jimmy post" titled New Look Uniforms about the alternative uniforms for the season. Only my little brother would find a way to incorporate fashion into a sports blog.

I love you buddy! :-)

What Season am I?

You Are a Winter

You look ravishing in: Black, burgundy, emerald green, hot pink, icy colors, navy blue, red, royal purple, and white

What Season Color Are You?

My mother used to be really be into "doing colors" and figuring out what someones season was. When she completed it years ago she said I was a summer but I am not surprised if I have evolved into a winter. She is a winter and I am more a winter than anything else now.

Attention Holiday Shoppers

I make it a habit to avoid any shopping establishment on Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving). Only once in my life have I broken this rule and that only resulted severe muscle aches from carrying snow globes 30+ blocks. Whenever I think about venturing out on the day after Thanksgiving the memory of the pain comes flooding back and I quickly talk myself out of it.

For those of you who cannot wait for Black Friday, I found a website that you will definitely want to see. I stumbled across Black Friday 2006 which has preview copies of many of the largest retailers in the countries planned sales for Black Friday. It's the perfect place to go and plan you Black Friday shopping trip!

Rain, rain, rain.... everywhere!

The "Pineapple Express" hit Seattle on Friday and in the last three days Seattle has had nearly 5 inches of rain. The most intense period of rain began last night and they estimate that we will get 2-6 inches of rain today. If today lives up to what the forecasts say it could go down as one of the 10 wettest days in Seattle history.

This is the most intense rain that we have had since I moved to Seattle. I watched the news and weather forecast but I learned long ago to now put too much trust in them. It has been pouring since I woke up this morning. It hasn't slowed down, it's constant and steady and I am beginning to wonder where it's all going to go. I didn't drive from Seattle to Kent this morning, I hydroplaned. I knew that puddles could form on flat roads, but did you know that they can form on slopes too. The concept of "urban flooding" is right outside my office window. There are huge puddles everywhere and the reservoir that was built on the empty lot adjacent to our building is completely full and spilling into the adjacent land.

It's going to be an interesting afternoon. Hope you are dry wherever you are!

Happy Birthday Steve F$#*ing Pool

I decided to watch the 11 o'clock news this evening so that I could be fully informed about the storm that is covering the area with rain by the inches. I know that the commute tomorrow morning will be long and I just wanted to plan accordingly.

Well it turns out that it's a special day and I didn't know about it! It's the birthday of my favorite Seattle meteorologist. The man I call Steve F$#*ing Pool. Happy Birthday Steve-o! I can't wait for you to spend another year annoying me with your generally smarmy nature and incorrect forecasts! :-)

Draft Wrap-up

It seems that I was "the queen of the drafts" this week. I had a lot on my mind and began several posts but didn't manage to get anything finished. I am compling the best of the drafts into this post.

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I ended up hearing one of my favorite songs of all time on three seperate occassions this week. It's one of those obscure songs that you just don't hear very often, so to hear it 3 times in one week is, I think, noteworthy. The song is Joe Jackson's "Stepping Out" and lyrics...

Now -
The mist across the window hides the lines
But nothing hides the colour of the lights that shine
Electricity so fine
Look and dry your eyes

We -
So tired of all the darkness in our lives
With no more angry words to say
Can come alive
Get into a car and drive
To the other side

Chorus:
Me babe - steppin out
Into the night
Into the light
You babe - steppin out
Into the night
Into the light

We -
Are young but getting old before our time
Well leave the t.v. and the radio behind
Dont you wonder what well find
Steppin out tonight

You -
Can dress in pink and blue just like a child
And in a yellow taxi turn to me and smile
Well be there in just a while
If you follow me

Chorus repeats

This song always reminds me of my mother. She loved this song back in the day. She always said that the final verse reminded her of long road trips when she would find a "driving buddy" and stick with them just like the yellow taxi in the song. I think I heard this song this week to remind me that my mom was leading me through the fear of facing my tests.

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I love the new CD from Carbon Leaf. They continue to be one of my favorite bands of all time. The new CD is titled Love Loss Hope Repeat and the title song is fabulous. My favorite part...

Remember the days that would never end
So much time you couldn't comprehend
When the sun so slow to fade
And tomorrow was more of the same
And the easiest April Rain
Was enough to ignite the flame
And you fade out with a grin
With the company you were in

And when the high wind blows everything
Like a lion attacking the spring
I love you more than I'll ever let on
And that's a fault of mine
I'm workin on
I'm workin on
And when the sky's a dusky hue

I am beginning to agree that the seasons ought to be... love, loss, hope, repeat.

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I took my first midterm of the semester this week. I got an 86%. I was a bit disappointed. It's a B, which is a fine grade, but I wanted an A.

=========

It's turned to the rainy season in Seattle. We have had more rain in the month of November (and it's the 4th) than we did in June, July and August combined. I was ready for the rain. It's easier for me to induge in my favorite things when it's cold and rainy outside. I feel no guilt curling up with a cup of tea and a book on a rainy day. Or sitting at Starbuck's for hours in front of the fire. It just seems the season to relax a bit more and indulge in the things I love the most.

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Well my laundry calls. Have a good weekend! :-)

Good for another year

This week I completed the tests for my annual cancer check-up. The good news is that everything is clean and in some instances it is even better than last year. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and marked one more year off the count that I keep in my head.

So it’s official… 4 years, cancer free!

Five year survival is the ultimate goal to which I have been striving for the last four. The odds of reoccurrence decrease every year, but the ultimate goal, the “magic number” is 5. After 5 years of clean tests I can be reclassified from “cancer free” to “remission.” Four years ago the thought of striving for a goal five years away way overwhelming and way too distant; Now that I only have one year to go, and four years behind me, it seems like a breeze. I always said that I wanted to do something significant to mark my 5 years, but I didn’t want to jump the gun and start planning it at year 1 or 2, but I think it might be time to start thinking seriously about how I want to mark this milestone in my life.

I am so fortunate to have the love and support of good friends and family members. Thank you! You are the best cheerleaders that a girl could ask for. I think that my friend’s husband said it best on the phone last night when he said, “So, you are good for another year! Congratulations!”

Favorite Cancer Book

I was hanging out at home on Friday, October 13^th and had the TV on in the background when 20/20 came on. They did a story about a movie that would be appearing on the Lifetime network the following week. It was based on the book Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy by Geralyn Lucas. I stopped what I was doing and watched the interview. I was blown away by Geralyn’s gutsy nature and attitude towards her journey and felt and immediate kinship with her.

I picked up the book during a shopping trip with a friend that weekend. I immediately began reading it and I loved it. I have read a lot of books about cancer. I have read stories of those that have won the battle and those that have not. I have always found pieces of each and every story that I have related to, but there was something raw and honest about the way that Geralyn told her story that is like nothing else I have ever read in a cancer memoir.

There are some similarities about our stories (we both underwent surgery and chemo in our 20’s, we are both the oldest child with two younger brothers) but also some obvious differences (she had breast cancer, I did not). Yet I felt at times that she had found a way to articulate many of the fears and feelings that she had in a natural, profound and elegant way; that I have never been able to.

She had encounters with not so sensitive doctors, as did I. She shared her diagnosis with complete strangers only to have them share something totally profound and meaningful, as did I. She second guessed her decisions about treatment, as did I. She was scared, as was I. I found the following passage to be one of the most profound in the entire book.

When the technician asked me if I was claustrophobic right before he put me into the huge machine, it made me think about all the things that I’m really scared of now that I have cancer. He dimmed the lights and I considered telling him that I am actually scared of the dark or pretending I’m claustrophobic so I could get our of this thing. Because I am terrified I can’t handle more bad news. I’m scare of dying before I turn thirty.

The lab technician looked so serious that he was making me even more scared. Why couldn’t he just smile--would it kill him?

When the machine started to rumble I was embarrassed to remember the things that used to scare me:

Cockroaches.

Wearing no makeup and running into an old boyfriend who broke my heart.

Algebra.

Having to ride from the lobby up to the tenth floor alone with Barbara Walters at work-how do I make conversation for ten straight floors?

Having to tell my doorman that I forgot my key to my apartment again and could I borrow the secret key just one more time?

The dark (I always sleep with a nightlight on).

Now I am just scared that my cancer has spread.

I am scared they will tell me they can’t cure me and that I only have months to live.

I am scared they will discover that the pain in my neck is actually a huge tumor and not a pulled muscle from trying to look cool at the gym.

I am scared that people at work are just being nice because they think I might die.

I am scared my husband secretly thinks he married damaged goods.

I am scared not enough people will come to my funeral. I am scared that I did not amount to enough. I am scared that I will not have an obituary. Scared that my student loans will not even be paid off when I die (I check the fine print and felt a little better knowing that they can’t make you pay if you’ve died). I am scared that my younger brother Howard will not be able handle his sister dying on him. I’m his big sister and I’m supposed to protect him. I am scared I have let so many people down by getting cancer. It is so strange to have cancer at twenty-seven. I’m not a kid with cancer--that’s super tragic. But I am still young enough that it is quasi-kid tragic. I feel like such a baby having my parents there with me at my doctor appointments. I need my mommy and daddy now. I was never scared of monsters when I was little. I am so scared of cancer now.

I am scared to go to sleep because I think I won’t wake up. I will just close my eyes and I won’t even know that I died. Is that how people die? Will I know that I died? I am scared on rainy and cold nights that I will be lonely when I die, I will miss everyone. I am scared that I won’t be missed.

I am scared that my cancer is incurable. That it is aggressive-- I mean, how could I ever have a passive cancer? No way. Just ask my Dad. I am scared sometimes when it is quiet that the cancer is starting to grown again. That it is swishing around my body as my heart is beating.

I am scared that I will never be the same.

If you are looking for a very-real yet positive story of someone facing cancer, I recommend this book. I didn’t want to watch the movie until I had finished the book, so I have seen it yet, but I have talked to several friends who have seen it and thought it was good. Also you can check out Geralyn's website at: http://www.whyiworelipstick.com/